couldn’t be happier right now, its like is a weight has been lifted off of me. No longer have to deal with this anymore. Im onto a new chapter of my life and Im glad Im not going down that wrong path. I feel great. Thank you Lord for doing this for me and putting me through that struggle. Setting me free just to be happier. I now understand why this happened. I trust in your plan for me Lord, I’m looking forward to these beautiful life changes that will come my way. :-)

The text posts I write on here are NOT about my personal life or anyone in my personal life, they are just writings I enjoy to write. I am no longer putting my writings on here cause there’s people I know from school that follow me and I’m tired of them asking me who the writings are about and if its from my personal life when its about nothing related or specific to my life. There’s no reason to even be asking.

trying so hard to become a better person.

they0ungdreamer:

This shows why I should never trust people. No one can ever be trusted.

Yesterday I realized how fast things were changing in my life… not just with myself, but with everyone around it as well. Everyone I know is growing up, being in my last year of high school I wonder how things are going to be after I graduate, will everyone still stick around?
That’s one of my fears to see the people I’m so close to right now end up drifting away cause college most times brings a new life.

Yes, I am looking forward to how things are going to be after I graduate, but I still have a fear in the back of my mind of new things coming into my life in the next couple of months. I guess its fear of “the unknown”…

People tell me to adjust to them, but its easier said than done.
Hopefully its all good things to come and good people to stay and others to come.

How much more can I take? I don’t deserve any of this. I keep pretending like everything is okay because I don’t want to face the truth. This is exactly why I don’t get close to people. I don’t like putting my emotions invested in people. They pull you close and then once they get bored with you they make you chase them. They don’t care, they only care about themselves. I refuse to even cry anymore. I’m so tired of crying, I find crying as being weak within myself and I refuse to. After today I will make sure that I change. No more feeling like I’m not worth it to you. I am fucking worth it and I’m not gonna let anyone make me feel like that anymore.

_ohheycrystal

Have a lovely day,
K bye.

xo

One of the hardest things to do is to forget about someone for a day that you’re so used to thinking about… But yet you make it seem so easy to just go and forget about me.

I dont even know anymore. Im so tired. Not the “sleepy” kind if tired. More like the when are things finally gonna stop being unbalanced and people stop fucking things up. Seriously im so tired of finally getting everything going right and then boom something goes wrong. I just keep things to myself now.I hate opening up to people its not worth the time anymore.

One day I’m gonna understand why this is all happening. One day I’m gonna wake up and have realized I have everything I’ve ever wanted. Things are going to fall into place, people are going to appreciate me, and some things will be easier. I’m going to get the things I truly deserve, and someone will tell me that I’m worth it all. I just gotta keep waiting. I gotta stay postive, I’m already half way there…

Patience is key.

I’m so tired of living here. I want to leave this place already. I’m tired of being control by these people. I want to get up and have my own life already and do what I want. I need to get out of here and not be stuck. I refuse to be living here for another 5 years. I will not allow that to happen… I’m gonna get up and do my own thing. I’m tired of depending on them with providing me with shit. Next year, I don’t care Im finding a way to get out of here or at least barely be here.

I’m just not happy right now. The people in my life are constantly telling me what I’m doing wrong. I just want to be APPRECIATED FOR ONCE. Ive been so caught up in pleasing others and having pressure from everyone. That Im not happy with myself or the things around me.

I just put on a smile for people so they don’t bother to ask. But I’m tired of feeling this way.

This isn’t me. I miss how things used to be with my family, friends, and boyfriend. We all used to be good. I had it all. I used to be an all around happy person.